Finding your safe place - CBT & EMDR

In therapy, one of the tools I often share with people is something called the safe place exercise. It’s commonly used in trauma-focused approaches like CBT and EMDR, but it’s not just for therapy sessions. It can be a really valuable resource for anyone who wants to build ways of calming themselves when life feels overwhelming.

Understanding the Safe Place Concept

So, what do we mean by a safe place? It’s essentially a space in your mind where you feel safe, comforted, and grounded. For some people, this is a real memory, like sitting by the sea, lying under a blanket at home, or walking through the woods. For others, it’s completely imagined—a mountain cabin, a quiet garden, or even somewhere magical. There’s no right or wrong; it’s simply about what feels safe for you.

How to Practise the Safe Place Exercise

When you’re trying this, I usually suggest closing your eyes and slowly building the picture in your mind, bit by bit. Here’s how to do it:

• What do you see? Notice colours, shapes, and the details around you.

• What can you hear? Birds, waves, a gentle breeze, or perhaps just peaceful silence.

• Are there any smells? Fresh grass, salty air, or maybe even a favourite candle.

• What can you feel? Warm sun on your skin, the comfort of soft clothing, or the solid ground beneath you.

• And if it fits, what do you taste? Cool water, a favourite drink, or simply clean fresh air.

  
  

Spend a few moments connecting with each of these senses. The more vividly you can create the experience, the more your body and mind will respond to it as though you are actually there.

Why Practise When You’re Calm?

This is one of the key parts I always highlight. People often want to use their safe place when they’re feeling very distressed—and of course, that’s exactly when it’s most useful. However, it works best if you’ve already practised it during calmer times.

Think of it like learning a new skill or rehearsing for something important: the more you practise when things are steady, the easier it is to use when things feel tough. By rehearsing calm, you’re strengthening a pathway in the brain that you can call on more easily when you need it most.

Everyday Benefits of the Safe Place Exercise

Although it’s often introduced in trauma therapy, I’ve seen people use their safe place in many different situations:

• Settling nerves before a presentation or exam

• Unwinding after a stressful day

• Helping with sleep when the mind won’t switch off

• Creating a moment of pause after something triggering

  
  

It becomes a portable tool you can carry with you, wherever you are.

Bringing It Into Routine

If you want to try this yourself, here are a few tips:

• Practise for just a couple of minutes at first—little and often is better than a big effort once in a while.

• Pair it with slow breathing to help your body relax as your mind connects with the imagery.

• If you struggle to imagine it, try using prompts like a photo, a sound, or a smell that links to the place you’ve chosen.

  
  

The Importance of Consistency

Consistency is key when practising the safe place exercise. By incorporating it into your daily routine, you can enhance its effectiveness. Consider setting aside a specific time each day to engage in this practice. Whether it’s in the morning to start your day on a positive note or in the evening to unwind, regular practice can lead to greater benefits.

Final Thoughts

The safe place exercise isn’t about pretending problems don’t exist—it’s about giving yourself a reliable anchor when things get too much. By practising it regularly, you’re building a resource that’s always with you, ready to help you steady yourself and find calm when you need it.

By Ben Lea, CBT & EMDR Therapist, Congleton, Cheshire